TTL BLOG

dh wewef fweifu hfuiweg

Two detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.

"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.

"A golf gun? What the heck is a golf gun?"

"I'm not certain, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"

They were celebrating the 100th anniversary of their church, and several former ministers and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, the minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

A council has apologised for issuing an £80 litter fine after a
toddler dropped two crisps on the pavement.

Barbara Jubb's granddaughter, two-year-old Emily, dropped a packet of Quavers in Crawley, West Sussex.

Mrs Jubb, 57, picked up the bag but kicked two stray crisps into the gutter - and was given an on-the-spot fine by two council wardens.

"We have apologised to the family for being overzealous and are happy to have cancelled the fine," said the council.

Mrs Jubb, her daughter Selena and Emily were waiting at a bus stop to return home to Tilgate after a hospital appointment when they were spotted by one of the wardens.

"She promptly brought out her badge and said, 'You are being fined'," said Mrs Jubb.

"I was absolutely gobsmacked."

Emily's mother, Selena, said; "I thought Jeremy Beadle was going to pop out - it was that stupid.

"People at the bus stop couldn't believe what was going on."

Crawley Borough Council said it made no apology for targeting people making a mess of its streets.

"People have a responsibility not to drop litter," said Councillor Beryl Mecrow.

"Littering annoys the vast majority of residents who use litter bins or take their rubbish home with them."

Sorry about the interlude - back in full flight again

A 1967 Mini covered with 14,000 old one-penny coins is auctioned by Bonhams during a sale of motoring memorabilia.

If anyone reading this happens to own one of these, I would dearly love to climb behind the wheel and take it for a spin

Plenty of room in the stands.